Small Strife
by VexenIV
Summary: Cloud Strife is attacked, shrunk by 5 ft and ends up living in Yuffie's doll house. Merlin is away for a month, and Yuffie makes Cloud pay for his room and board by dressing him up every day. Every outfit brings a new adventures. CLEON SEGMENTS!
1. Prelude

_**Small Strife**_

~Prelude~

Cloud Strife was fighting heartless in Radiant Garden, and not just any heartless. They were Rouge Book Heartless. Now, as you, the reader, may or may not know, Rouge Book Heartless are remnants of Zexion's own powers, and therefore knew a great many spells that one would normally only find in Zexion's own spell book, or Merlin's. As you can probably gather, heartless with a low IQ throwing around spells in defence (or offense) and our blond fighter that can never successfully dodge invisible spells, especially when his back is turned, is never a good mix.

Said unsuspecting blond fighter with spikey hair was hit by one of these invisible spells and dropped his sword as he blacked out mid swing. He never remembered what happened after that seeing as he dropped to the ground unconscious.

~tbc

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I know it's short but it's supposed to be! This is the prelude.

This story was collaborated by myself and Sugarbutter last christmas, so it's been in the making's for 12 months. :) Hopefully you all enjoy it! ^_^


	2. Small Cloud

Chapter 1 – Small Cloud

Cloud Strife woke up with a pounding headache and a sense of everything being larger than it actually was. He rolled over and staggered upright, checking himself for injuries. He seemed fine. It wasn't until he turned around to collect his sword that he realised that something was terribly wrong.

His sword, which was normally about his height, was huge! He reached up to grip the handle and blinked as his hand barely went halfway around the hilt. "…Okay, let's try two hands," Cloud muttered, scowling at the cold metal. Putting both hands around the hilt he heaved backwards as hard as he could. Panting heavily a few minutes later, he groaned and let go. His damn sword hadn't moved at all! Why the hell did he have such a heavy sword in the first place anyway?

…He didn't know the answer to that question personally.

Puffing his spikes out of his face, he thought, _maybe one of the smaller swords?_ Climbing on top of his sword with some difficulty, he walked over to where the switch that released his smallest sword was and stepped on it. It didn't click. Huffing in anger, he tried again and jumped on the switch. The switch didn't budge.

Cloud growled in anger and jumped up and down repeatedly. "Open damnit!" he yelled and jumped up, landing as heavily as he could on the latch. Again, it didn't move a millimetre. Jumping into the air again, a strong wind caught him and knocked him to the side. Landing awkwardly on the edge of his sword, he whirled his arms to try and stay upright. "Whoa… whoa!" Falling backwards as his arms circled the hilt of his sword, he hung there dangling with his feet wrapped around the metal as well.

Looking down, Cloud blinked at the three centimetre drop to the ground, which was about half his height at this point in time, and let his legs drop. They hit the ground with a high pitched 'smack'. Standing upright, he glared up at his suddenly enormous sword. "Pfft… get it later." Turning, he began storming back to the house from the Bailey.

Two hours later, Cloud was pulling himself up the steps to the community house he and the other committee members shared. He was already panting and puffing and was thoroughly confused. The steps were reaching the bottom of his nose! "Why the hell did they have to make the steps so big?" he groaned as he pulled himself up another step.

He paused to catch his breath and bent over. It was then he heard padded footprints and a rather loud "meow," behind him.

Freezing, he turned, wide eyed, to find Merlin's speckled grey cat called Patch standing behind him. Now Cloud considered Patch as a big cat, bigger than normal, but this Patch was enormous! He was standing at eye height, and Patch was at the bottom of the steps, Cloud almost at the top. "Uh… Hi Patch…" he waved nervously as the cat leant forward to sniff at him.

Now Cloud pieced everything together and came to two theories. One thing was certain though… he knew he'd been hit by some sort of spell and had blacked out afterwards, much to his shame. Now the theories were he'd either been transported through a portal of darkness to a giant version of Radiant Garden, or he'd just been shrunk. He opted for the second theory seeing as the first one was highly improbable.

A black, wet nose stopped about a centimetre from his face and sniffed. Patch backed up, ears perked, and had an almost cattish grin plastered to his furred face. One thing was certain about the situation Cloud was in – Patch liked Cloud. Patch liked Cloud a lot, and obviously recognised Cloud. While this may normally be advantageous for Cloud, at this size, things were a little more troublesome than they should have been.

Patch reached a paw up and a wide-eyed Cloud dived to the side with a "no Patch!" as the paw came down on top of him. Thankfully Patch's paw missed our golden haired fighter but caught the leather armour that usually rested against his leg.

Cloud attempted to free himself as Patch dug his claws into the leather and dragged Cloud back towards himself. "No, Patch, no!" Cloud yelled in a panic as he tried to grab onto something. For those of you that own a cat, you would probably have realised at some point or another that cats never actually do what they're told. It's usually on 'their terms' when you pat them and feed them and playing is no different. Patch is one of those cats and so didn't listen to Cloud's desperate scolding and picked him up around his torso, turned, and plodded into the house quite happily.

Cloud during all of this was gripping desperately at Patch's fur to try and free himself. "Patch, no! Put me down. Put me down! I'm not something you can eat! Someone help!"

Patch being Patch and not listening to the blondes' protests padded over to his basket, tail twitching happily and dropped Cloud into it. Cloud sprawled, turned and attempted to back away from the enormous cat. A gigantic paw came down and landed on the blonde's stomach area. "No, Patch? No! Someone help! Yuffie? Aerith! HELP!" Cloud yelped when a rough tongue ran up his leg and down his side. It repeated this process, Cloud rolling over when the paw removed itself but was but was quickly pinned when the tongue ran from his lower back all the way to the top of his head, saliva soaking to the blond spikes and making them even more sticky-outie. "Ugh… Patch!"

Patch paid no attention and kept licking. The evil, grey, licking cat rolled Cloud over and loomed over him, nose nuzzling at his shirt that was slowly riding up from all the licking. Cloud squeaked and attempted to shove the cold, wet nose away.

There was a loud thumping heard from the stairs and then Yuffie's somewhat misled blessed voice. "Have you seen Cloud? I swear I heard him…"

"Yuffie! Help! Agh! Patch, no!" Cloud shoved Patch back as the nose ran up his stomach before licking it. "Yuffie! Aerith! In the cat basked! Help, please!" He rolled over and attempted to crawl to the edge and out of Patch's grip. He made it a few centimetres before a paw landed on his back again, knocking the air out of him. "Oof!"

"Cat…basket?" Cloud heard Aerith and Yuffie ask simultaneously before twin footsteps hurried over.

Patch's tongue ran up Cloud's semi-exposed back as he lay there slowly getting pressed into the fur covered cushion. "Ick… Patch!"

"Cloud? What are you…? Oh my…" Aerith blinked as Cloud whimpered and reached for her.

"Help…"

"What happened?" Yuffie asked.

"We can talk about that afterwards. Right now, let's get Cloud out of there," Aerith decided and reached out a hand towards the blond.

Patch hissed and his claws emerged, digging into Cloud's back. "Ow, OW! Claws, CLAWS!"

Aerith backed her hand away. "Sorry Cloud…"

The victimised blond sighed. "It's okay."

Yuffie tapped Aerith on the shoulder. "I'll grab Patch, you grab Cloud."

The somewhat molested blond nodded tiredly. Yuffie swooped in, grabbed Patch and lifted the surprised cat about a meter from the cat basket. He hissed and spat as Aerith reached out and gently picked Cloud up, pulling the wet fighter out of the basket. Yuffie dropped Patch to the ground and Aerith stood up, holding Cloud close as he pressed himself against her neck, body trembling.

"Thank you," he whimpered and clutched at one of her bangs.

"Um… you're welcome. Come on Cloud, let go," she coaxed as she attempted to pull Cloud away from her neck.

"No," he mumbled and hung on tighter.

"Cloud, you have to let go sometime," Aerith pointed and walked into the kitchen. "Come on, I'll make you some tea. Yuffie shut the door please." The door shut behind the ninja girl and Aerith went about making some tea for Cloud in an enclosed egg cup.

Yuffie walked over to Aerith. "Here, let me take him. I don't want you burning yourself on hot water." She reached for the shrunk blond and Aerith gladly handed him over after detangling the traumatised man. "Ugh… Cloud, your clothes need a wash and so do you." She put Cloud down on the bench and went fishing in one of the drawers for a tea towel. "Here, dry yourself off."

The tea towel was tossed and despite his size, Cloud caught it and wrapped it around himself like a towel - a very, very, very large towel. "Thanks."

"…I think we might need to get you a face washer for a towel," Aerith commented with a laugh.

The tea towel was so large on Cloud that it could have wrapped around him four to five times and ran past his head and feet by at least one centimetre each way. "Yeah… it's like a carpet," the blond commented and snuggled down into the warmish and rough cloth.

Aerith placed a cup of tea in front of Yuffie, herself and finally brought over Cloud's egg cup. "Cloud, how about you tell us what happened. We may be able to help you."

The male fighter carefully picked up the bowl sized egg cup and sighed before drinking from it. Putting it down he began explaining what had happened.

Once he was done Aerith sighed. "Well Merlin, Tifa and Leon left yesterday and Merlin and Tifa won't be back until a month from now. Leon will hopefully be back tomorrow so we'll decide what to do then." She then frowned thoughtfully. "I wonder how tall you are…" Getting up, she walked over to the kitchen draw and pulled out a thirty centimetre ruler. "Stand up please Cloud." The blond sighed and did as he was told. Aerith placed the ruler beside him.

Yuffie snorted in amusement. "Congratulations Cloud, you're now five feet shorter!"

Cloud groaned. "So I'm eight inches tall?"

"I'm afraid so dear," Aerith said sympathetically as she went to put the ruler away.

"Wait!" Yuffie yelled and Cloud and Aerith froze. "I have to take a picture of this." She pulled out her infamous camera and snapped a picture when the older female moved the ruler back and Cloud rolled his eyes, giving the self-proclaimed ninja a disgruntled glare. She grinned and turned to bounce out of the room. "Thanks guys!"

Aerith shook her head as Cloud sighed and turned to look up at his friend. "So… how long do you think this spell will last for?"

"I have no idea Cloud," she said apologetically. "You'll have to wait until Merlin gets back."

"Great," the blond groaned. "Soo… where am I going to sleep in the meantime?"

"That's a good question actually." Aerith turned around and placed a hooked finger under her chin to think as she watched him fidget. "We certainly can't leave you in your normal room. With its size and the mess you'll get lost more than likely."

Cloud crossed his arms and grumbled quietly, silently agreeing with the accusation that his organising skills that existed practically little to none. His room was a sea of books, clothes and other such things as cleaning polish and rags as well that needed a wash. At the eight inches he was at now there was no way he could continue to live in there safely.

"He can sleep in my dolls house," Yuffie offered as she bounced back into the kitchen. Cloud twitched.

"That's a wonderful idea," Aerith chirped and clapped her hands together, not noticing the smirk on Yuffie's face.

"On one condition."

Cloud groaned. "Here it comes."

"I'm allowed to dress him up and take pictures."

"No." The blond stood firmly and glared up at his somewhat disowned friend.

"Oh come on, it'll be fun!"

"No."

"Well, you can't exactly sleep in Leon's room…" Aerith mused. 

"No…"

"And you can't sleep with me. Well… you could but…"

"No!"

"And Cid snores while he sleeps… I don't think you'd be able to sleep very well in there."

"No."

"See? My doll house is the best solution, unless you want to sleep with Patch…?" 

"No!"

Yuffie grinned. "Deal?"

Cloud hesitated before grimacing and nodding. "Deal."

"Yay! Come on! Let's take you upstairs and get you settled in." The ninja bounced forward, gently picked her friend up and began walking upstairs while Cloud kept an eye out for Patch as they crossed the living area.

Yuffie shut her bedroom door and walked over to the very large doll house that looked like a castle from Cloud's point of view. "Here you are! Go on in! I'll turn the light on," the girl said as she put Cloud down just in front of the door.

Cloud turned to her, confused. "Lights?" The entire doll house suddenly lit up as Yuffie flicked a switch at the power point. "Whoa…" Cloud murmured as he was doused in light.

"Yeah… I had fun making this." She grinned then and flicked a switch on the side of the house. "I think I even put little light switches in I got so carried away.

Cloud found one of the light switches she was talking about when he walked in the front door. Grinning, he began flicking the somewhat large switch on and off. The light on the porch was working at least.

"Alright, alright, you wanna break it?" Yuffie asked grumpily. The front of the house swung open and Cloud only just saved himself from becoming squished Cloud.

"Sorry Yuffie." Staring up at the ceiling above him, he reached his arms up and he was nowhere near within touching distance. He still had another inch to grow before that happened.

"It's okay." Yuffie reached in and pulled Cloud out. "I'll give you the fast tour. So you're in the main hallway, this is the kitchen, that's the lounge room, the bedroom is upstairs, as is the bathroom but I'd appreciate it if you didn't use it unless you have to."

"What, you didn't install plumbing as well?" Cloud asked, highly amused.

"No… I did. I just couldn't install sewerage unfortunately, otherwise I would have."

Cloud shook his head in disbelief. When Yuffie did something she didn't just do things by halves. She did them to the fullest.

"Anyway, this is the attic. Nothing interesting in there. I'll take my other dolls out and you can have the whole house to yourself then." She then put the blond in the bedroom and Cloud watched as she pulled three other dressed dolls out of the house.

"Thanks Yuffie, this means a lot to me."

"Hey, don't worry about it. You still have to work for your room though," she reminded with a grin.

Cloud winced before glaring at her. "Fine. Nothing over PG though."

Yuffie smiled. "Deal. Hey, do me a favour and wander down to the kitchen will you? I need to find my camera."

Sighing, the blond fighter did as he was told and walked down to the kitchen in the doll's house, the stairs creaking a bit as he walked down them. Stopping in the doorway, the blond took note of the sherbet coloured walls and the apple curtains covering the window over the sink. There was a wooden cupboard over one side of the room pressed up against the wall next to a refrigerator and a wooden table sitting in the middle of the room what had a doll sitting awkwardly in one of the seats. A crash from outside the room told Cloud that Yuffie was still looking for her camera. He carefully sat on one of the seats to make sure it held his weight. It did, and they were quite comfortable too.

Yawning, the blond leant back and closed his eyes, opening them moments later when a bright flash almost blinded him through his eyelids. "Yuffie!"

"I found it!" Cloud groaned and his head met the table painfully. "Alright Cloudster, can you sit straight for me?" Cloud complied, only to get this over and done with. "Lean back a bit… put your left arm on the table and place your right hand over your left hand. That's it! Now bend your legs so they're straight. There we go. Now smile!" There was another bright flash before Cloud could react and this time he did think he was going blind. "Thanks Cloud!" The front of the door was closed and the latch secured. Yuffie then left the room.

Cloud sat in the chair, blinking and not moving until his vision came back. Getting up, he then staggered out of the kitchen and back upstairs to the bedroom. Yawning, he pulled his cat slobber crusted leather armour off and fell onto the bed. It was soft and bouncy. It was just like Yuffie to get a mini-mattress. It had been a long day so Cloud supposed it wouldn't matter if he had a cat nap. At least until dinner…

**_Today I got a new doll! His name is Cloud. Doesn't he look realistic? Anyway, gotta fly! Expect more pictures from me tomorrow. _**

**_Greatestninjaever~!_**

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I hope you all enjoyed this. THERE IS MORE HUMOR AND CONTENT TO COME! This chapter was just setting the scene.

Hope you wait for the next one! ^_^

R&R please and tell me what you think!


	3. Sleepy Cloud

Chapter 2: Sleepy Cloud

"Hey, Aerith?" Yuffie asked as she hopped down the stairs, only to find the older woman knitting in in the lounge room.

"Yes Yuffie?"

"…What are you doing?"

Aerith held up a knitting needle with a rectangular patch hanging off it, purple wool attached. "Making a blanket for Cloud. I thought he might get cold."

"Oh… hey! Can I make him a set of pyjamas? Pleeease?"

"Sure! That's a great idea. We'll need measurements though…"

"I'll go get him!" Yuffie dashed up the stairs and into her room as Aerith went back to her knitting. She bounced down the stairs a few minutes later, Cloudless.

"Where's Cloud?" Aerith asked, mildly confused.

"He's asleep… but I found another doll that might work. They're practically the same body wise." Yuffie held up one of her Ken dolls and Aerith giggled.

"Alright, come over here." The brunette woman gave a gesture with the command and began putting her knitting things away. The ninja bounced over and peered over Aerith's shoulder as she went rummaging through her sewing bag. "Well… this is the only material I have left unfortunately." She pulled out some cotton material with lots of little pink, green and blue stars all over a nearly black background.

"Perfect!" Yuffie cheered. "Cloud will love them!"

Aerith smiled and nodded, pulling out a measuring tape and a notebook. "Pass me that Ken doll and I'll get you started."

Yuffie did as she was told and sat down to watch as Aerith got to work.

Cloud's eyes flickered open blearily as he gazed at the ceiling above him. Confused and alert, he sat up and looked around the strange room he'd found himself in. Why was he…? Oh… right. He'd been shrunk by that damn Rouge heartless. The spell obviously hadn't worn off yet as he was currently in Yuffie's doll house.

Memories returned and Cloud got up and made his way downstairs. He opened the front door to the doll house, closed it behind him and began making his way across Yuffie's carpet. It was when he nearly reached the half closed wooden door that his senses started prickling. Edging his way out slowly to warily look around, Cloud got the unmistakable feeling that he was forgetting something; something very important.

Checking his surroundings very carefully once more, he crept out of the safety of the wooden frame and began making his way down the semi-familiar hallway and towards the stairs.

Dropping down them, Cloud heard voices coming from the lounge room and paused to listen.

"Ow… Aerith! I keep pricking myself on the pins!"

There was a sigh and the sound of movement. "That's because you're holding the material wrong. Here, let me show you." There was a short pause. "Like that, see?"

"Huh? Oh yeah! Thanks Aerith." Yuffie bounced across the floor boards and there was silence again.

Cloud began dropping down the stairs again and was about five stairs from the bottom when he heard a "meow?"

Freezing, Cloud turned to look up at the top of the stairs and froze. Damnit, that was what he'd forgotten. "Patch…"

The cat's ears perked up in interest as he stared at Cloud and his tail began twitching. Our shrunken blond began backing towards the railing and as he reached it, Patch darted for him with an excited yowl as Cloud jumped from the fifth step through the banister to the floor and made a mad dash for the lounge room. "Aerith~!" he wailed as he sprinted towards the pink clad woman sitting in the arm chair, Patch hot on his heels. Jumping, he flew onto Aerith's lap, the cat not far behind him and then dived off a surprised Aerith's lap into the space between the back of the couch and the cushion.

"Ouch! Patch! That hurts!" Aerith stood up quickly and sent Patch tumbling off her lap and onto the floor. "Bad cat! Out!" she scolded and pointed at the door and stared down at him firmly. Patch slowly slunk out of the room and once he was out of sight, Aerith turned to Cloud in a fluster and reached for him. "My goodness Cloud, are you alright?"

Cloud, shaking and panting slightly from the sprint and adrenaline rush, crawled out of his hidey hole, nodding. "Yeah, thanks."

"I'm so sorry Cloud. I thought he was outside."

"Don't worry about it. Where's Yuffie? I thought I heard her earlier," Cloud commented, peering around the older woman as best he could.

"You heard her alright. She's in the other room using my sewing machine," Aerith sighed.

Cloud gave her a confused look. "Why is Yuffie using your sewing machine?"

"She's making you something."

The blond cringed. "Should I be worried?"

Aerith smiled reassuringly. "No, she's not doing too badly for her first time."

Cloud laughed nervously.

"Shall we go check on her?" Aerith asked sweetly and before Cloud could respond she scooped him up in her hands and began walking across the room. "Yuffie, are you done yet?" Aerith called as she knocked on the closed door.

"Almost. Just give me a second." There was a small pause. "Done!" the door opened and Cloud was suddenly face to face with a grinning Yuffie. "Oh, Cloud! You're up!"

Said blond winced at the loud volume of the younger girl's voice. "Yes, I am."

"Look at what I made you." She held up a matching top and pants.

Cloud blinked at them. "Um…"

Aerith laughed lightly. "Come on, we'll put you down so you can try them on." She walked over to the large wooden table in the lounge room and put the blond down on the hard surface.

Yuffie put the clothes down in front of him and Cloud got a good look at what they were. The clothes were pyjamas. They were long sleeved seeing as it was winter and cold in recent days and the material was covered in stars and on a black background. The thing that made Cloud cringe though was not the jagged sewing around the cuffs and hems, but the two large buttons that were on the front. The buttons fitted snugly into his palms they were that big. "They were the smallest buttons I could find in Aerith's collection. I hope they're alright."

Cloud smiled at up his hyperactive friend. "They're great Yuffie. Thank you."

She smiled back. "You're welcome. Try them on! I wanna see how they look."

Sighing, Cloud pulled his shirt off and put the pyjama top on. It was a bit big around the torso and the sleeves were a little long but it was comfortable. Turning to the pants, he pulled his black ones down to reveal his boxers and quickly pulled the pyjama bottoms on. They hung loosely around his hips and the pant legs were enormous.

Yuffie laughed nervously. "I think they need some adjustments."

Cloud looked up at the two females critically. "What did you use to get measurements?"

"Uh…" The ninja scratched the back of her head. "My Ken doll?"

The blond sighed heavily. "Great. I'm the same size as a Barbie doll."

"Smaller actually," Yuffie corrected.

Cloud glared at her. "Not helping."

"Well it's true. Ken's twelve inches and you're only eight."

Aerith laughed as Cloud scowled and crossed his arms grumpily. It's alright Cloud. Come on, we'll make adjustments for you." She walked over to her sewing basket and pulled out some pins and a measuring tape. Sighing, Cloud allowed himself to be subjected to tugging, rolling and sharp pokey pins.

Halfway through this, the front door opened and shut. "Don't let the cat in!" Aerith called out loudly.

"Too late!" Cid called back roughly.

"Go catch him will you Yuffie?" she asked gently and the ninja grinned and bounced off.

She passed Cid in the doorway and he watched her curiously as she ran down the hall. "Do we know where Cloud is? I found his sword lying in the Bailey."

"Look on the table!" Yuffie called back with a giggle. "Here Patch… that's it. Good boy. Come on… Argh!" there was suddenly a very loud crash from the kitchen as pots and pans suddenly went tumbling to the ground.

Aerith sighed as Cid shook his head in mild amusement before turning his attention to the table. "Whatever. Now, where's Clou…" he trailed off as he caught sight of the small fighter standing on the table. Blinking twice, he rubbed both his eyes and looked again. Pinching himself he swore quietly under his breath. "What happened?" the engineer asked finally.

The healer giggled lightly and recited what Cloud had told them with the occasional interruption from Yuffie as she attempted to catch Patch. By the end of the short story Cid was looking stumped.

"Where the hell is that damn bandicoot when you need him?" Cid grumbled. "Away on a bloody wizards' conference, that's where."

"Well we can't do much about it anyway until he gets back or the spell wears off of its own accord, so there's no point complaining." Aerith sighed and picked up Cloud's normal clothes. "I'll wash your whoa!" she dropped the black clothes that were suddenly back to their normal size in her hands. "Uh…"

Cloud groaned. "Great. Now all I have left are my pyjamas to wear."

"You can always wear some of my Ken clothes for the time being," Yuffie offered from the hallway as she passed.

"No thanks, I'll pass," the blond mumbled.

"Okay. Don't say I didn't offer." The ninja walked out of the room and Cid chuckled.

"Well, look at the good side. At least your voice didn't turn into one of those high pitched voices."

Cloud cringed at the image. "Yeah… I agree."

"Alright, take those pyjamas off and I'll fix them for you," Aerith commanded. The blond complied, despite Cid's snickers and disappeared into Aerith's sewing room with her. She quickly stitched the clothes to fit him and handed them back. "There you go."

"Thanks Aerith," he mumbled as he put them back on.

"Oh, they're done?" Yuffie asked as she popped her head inside the door. Aerith nodded with a smile and Yuffie bounced into the room with her camber. "Photo time!"

Cloud groaned. "Oh please no."

Aerith sighed. "Just let her Cloud. She did mostly make them for you."

The blond hesitated, eyes narrowed at the ninja girl before finally sighing and agreeing. "…Alright."

"Yay! Thanks Cloud!" Three pictures were snapped in bright flashes of light and the next thing Cloud knew, Yuffie was gone, minus the puff of ninja smoke.

"It would be nice if she didn't blind me," Cloud grumbled while trying to blink the white spots out of his vision and Aerith laughed.

"Come on. I'll leave you with Cid while I do some washing." She picked him up carefully and carted the blond out to the lounge room. "Look after him for me will you?" Aerith asked the older man sweetly and placed Cloud on his knee. "Thanks Cid."

Cloud and Cid looked at one another. "So… what now?" The gruff man asked after a while.

Cloud drew in a deep breath and nodded in agreement. "What now indeed."

**_It's me again. I made my Cloud doll pyjamas! Aren't they cute? He looks so adorable in them! I can't wait to dress him up more tomorrow. I'll have to go find my doll clothes that I stashed somewhere… I'll go do that now before I forget. Later peeps!_**

**_Greatestninjaever~!_**

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For those of you that are confused, the spell Cloud was hit with in the Prelude made him shrink 5 feet and the **_font that looks like this _**is Yuffie's blog posts.

Thanks for reading!


	4. Pirate Cloud

Chapter 3 – Pirate Cloud

It was 7:30 that morning in Radiant Garden and Yuffie was plotting. Aerith was downstairs cooking breakfast, Cid was typing away at his computer checking the various heartless levels and infestations, and Cloud, poor unsuspecting Cloud, was still sound asleep in her doll house in the pyjamas that she had made for him. He looked so adorable in the overly large shirt with the huge buttons! It was quite cute really.

Holding up the outfit she'd chosen for Cloud to wear for the day, she grinned her evil grin and waited for the blond the wake up by himself. Or maybe she'd just wake him up because she could. Either way, today was going to be fun.

Leon walked into the house at about four o'clock that afternoon. He was tired from the three days travel and having to fight the odd heartless that showed up. Dropping his gunblade by the front door, the brunette walked into the kitchen to find Aerith making kebabs for dinner. The only problem with the kebabs she was currently skewering was that they were toothpicks. "… Hi."

Aerith's head shot up in surprise. "Oh! You're back! You look exhausted. Sit down and I'll make you something. Coffee?"

"Please," he confirmed with a nod and moved forward to investigate the tiny kebabs amongst the normal sized ones. Holding one of the tiny kebabs at eye level, Leon twirled the toothpick slowly, confusion flowing through him. "Why?" he asked eventually and held the kebab out to Aerith so she would know what he was talking about.

"They're for Cloud," the older woman answered seriously, like nothing was amiss.

Leon looked at her curiously. What had he missed while he'd been gone for three days? "Cloud?" What had the bizarre blond done this time? He hoped it wasn't some random diet thing that he had heard about and wanted to try.

"Well, you know, he can't eat normal sized kebabs and I don't want him to feel left out," Aerith answered as she gave Leon his coffee and sat down to continue skewering meat onto the toothpicks.

Leon blinked and frowned, eyeing off the miniature kebabs again as he put the one he was holding down and took his coffee in two hands. Maybe Cloud had decided to do something weird… like try a new diet that had been thrown at him from the side of the road. "Maybe you'd better tell me what's been going on."

Aerith looked up at the man in front of her in confusion before understanding swept across her face. "Oh… oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot you didn't know." She put the now finished tooth pick kebab on the tray with the rest of the kebabs and faced Leon seriously. "Cloud has-"

"Leon!" Yuffie squealed as she burst through the kitchen door. "You're back!" Launching herself at the older man, the boat she was holding and the doll in the boat went flying out of her hands and arched up into the air.

"Catch him!" Aerith screamed and on instinct Leon lunged for the doll before it could hit the floor.

Yuffie caught herself before she could crash into Leon and both she and Aerith ran around the bench. "I'm so sorry! Are you okay Cloud?" the younger girl wailed as she clutched at Leon's arm and stared in distress at the doll in Leon's hand.

Leon blinked and looked at the doll for the first time in detail. His eyes went wide as he took in the slowly moving blond haired fighter that was looking rather green. Aerith leaned closer and watched him with a concerned look. "Are you alright Cloud?"

"Gonna… be sick…" he managed to choke out and suddenly Cloud was gone from Leon's hands, into Aerith's and was carted across the kitchen to the sink where the shrunk blond promptly vomited into said sink.

The blond fighter leant back once he was done and lay down on the cold stainless steel metal beneath him. There was the sound of running water through his somewhat fogged brain as the last of the nausea dissipated. "Um…Cloud?" a deep voice spoke up and said blond opened his eyes to look up at the approaching brunette male.

"Hey Leon," he greeted with a quiet moan. "Welcome back."

"Um… can I…?" he asked hesitantly as he reached for the pale blond.

Cloud grunted his consent. "But no rocking otherwise I'm going to be sick again."

Leon nodded and carefully scooped the limp fighter up. The brunette raised an eyebrow at the puffy pirates' uniform the blond was dressed in. It was a little big but fitted him nicely otherwise. The coat was a dark blue with a gold collar and buttons on it. There was a frilly ruffle down his chest and what looked like a white silk shirt underneath. The pants were fairly plain blue, the same deep colour as the coat, and looked like they were cotton. Turning to look at Aerith, Leon had curiosity written across every inch of his face. "Maybe you'd better explain what's happened," he suggested.

Aerith nodded. "Good idea. Cloud, do you want a drink of something?"

"Water," he moaned and covered his eyes with his arm. She quickly complied. "Thanks," he croaked when she handed him a plastic container full of water. It was a cylinder shape and from Cloud's sitting position on Leon's hands, it sat between his legs and reached just above chin height. Half of the container was gone within a few seconds.

Leon walked back over to the bench and sat down, placing Cloud and his cup carefully onto the bench. "I'm so sorry Cloud, are you okay?" Yuffie whimpered and reached for the blond. He hissed at her and she backed off.

"It's alright Yuffie. Just give him some time to calm down," Aerith soothed and rubbed her on the back. "Why don't you go and put your boat away?"

Yuffie sniffed and nodded, wiping her eyes. "Okay." She picked her boat up and left the room.

All three watched her go, a pair of blue eyes more warily than the others. You know she didn't mean it Cloud," Aerith soothed.

Said blond sighed heavily. "I know, but she could have killed me Aerith."

"I know…"

"As much as I'd like to join in on this conversation, can I get some answers please?" Leon asked impatiently as he crossed his arms.

"Sorry Leon. I suppose we should start from the beginning shouldn't we," Aerith murmured and Leon nodded.

By the time Aerith had finished explaining, Leon was looking at a flushed Cloud with both eyebrows raised. "So we don't know if or when this spell will wear off?"

"No."

"Damn… is your sword still out in the Bailey Cloud?" The blond nodded. "Come on then. Do you know where Cid is?" he asked Aerith.

"Upstairs taking a nap I think."

"Come on Cloud. Let's go get Yuffie and Cid so we can get your sword inside." Leon picked the blond up, placed him on his shoulder, drained his coffee cup and handed it to Aerith with a "thanks," and then walked out of the room, Cloud holding onto strands of Leon's hair to keep himself from tumbling off the brunette's shoulder. Banging on Cid's door loudly, Leon opened it and almost walked into a staggering upright Cid. "Come on, let's go get Cloud's sword before it rusts."

"Jeeze… no hello or anything. Welcome back ice prince," Cid grumbled as Leon and Cloud left the room.

The pair walked down to Yuffie's room and Leon knocked on the door. "Yuffie, grab your weapons and meet us downstairs."

There was a sniffled "okay," and Leon walked away in satisfaction.

"Two minutes Yuffie!" he called over his shoulder as Cid emerged from his room, still half asleep and armed. Walking downstairs, Leon grabbed his gunblade, made sure it was loaded and that Cloud was out of the way before swinging it onto his back.

Yuffie walked down the stairs just as Leon was adjusting the leather gloves on his hands. "Ready?" Cid asked and she nodded.

"Bye Aerith!" Yuffie called and the group walked out the front door.

As the crisp wind hit Cloud and cut straight through the clothes he was wearing, the blond was suddenly very glad for the fur lining he was sitting on and snuggled in closer to Leon's neck, slipping down the crevice between the neck lining of the jacket and Leon's neck.

"You right there?" Leon asked in mild amusement as he felt Cloud making himself comfortable.

"Cold," the blond announced and half crawled under Leon's jacket.

Leon shook his head. "Alright, fine. Just no burrowing under my shirt."

The blond glared up at the brunette's ear. "I'm not a rat Leon."

"You sure? You look like one." Cloud planted a solid kick to Leon's neck. "Ow!"

"Payback."

"You're forgetting who's carting you around here," Leon growled. "I could just as easily dump you with Yuffie."

The blond bristled. "You wouldn't."

"Watch me," came the smug reply.

Cloud, despite having many creative things to say, sat back and shut up as Cid and Yuffie led the way to Cloud's sword.

Sighing once they reached the giant Buster sword, Yuffie taking out the odd heartless that popped up, Leon contemplated how to move the gigantic sword back to their house. "How do you want to do this?" the brunette asked, turning to face the older man.

"You take the sharp end and I'll take the handle. You've got gloves and I haven't."

"Okay." They both moved to their respective ends and bent to pick up the massive sword. "Ready? One… two… three!" they both heaved upwards at the same time and Cloud squeaked as he got squished.

Crawling out of his warm hidey hole, Cloud staggered and fell as the two men began moving. "Whoa… shit!"

There was a loud clanging as Leon dropped his end of the sword to catch the miniature blond as he plummeted to the cold stone below. "Cloud…"

"Sorry!" he squeaked at his growled name. "It wasn't intentional! You were squishing me!"

Staring unreadably down at the small blond in his hands, his eyes narrowed in on the wide blue ones and made a decision. "Yuffie?"

"Ya?" she popped up beside the brunette with a grin.

Cloud's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You wouldn't," he hissed.

Leon, not listening at all, dropped Cloud into her belt pocket. "Hold him for me will you? And don't drop him."

"Leon!"

"Yes sir!" she answered with an even wider grin and moved away from the duo.

Turning back to the large sword with a smirk, he bent down and picked it up again. Cid just raised an eyebrow as they started moving. "You're plotting something, aren't you," he muttered.

Leon just shrugged. "He needs to get over his fear of being killed my Yuffie in that form."

Cid smirked as Cloud squawked indignantly as Yuffie tried to shove him into the breast pocket on her jacket. Leon just shook his head as a rather heated argument start up. This was going to be one very long and interesting walk home.

**_Squally came home today! I haven't gotten a picture of him and Cloudy together yet, but it's coming! *Evil grin*Doesn't Cloudy look so good in his pirate outfit? I swear, he looks good in almost anything! Anyway, I'm going to bed. It's been a long day. Stay tuned and I bet you can't wait for what I've planned for tomorrow. I certainly can't! _**

**_Later!_**

**_Greatestninjaever~!_**

* * *

Well, here's another chapter. :) For those of you that are confused, the doll house Cloud is living in isn't a toy doll house - it's a competition doll house that stands at about a meter and and half to two meters. Look them up! There are some amazing houses. :) People put a lot of effort into them, and yes, you can get electric lights and things in a doll house. There are examples of it on the web. :) Yuffie just has a slightly more advanced version of the doll houses people can create today. They take a long time to make, and you don't throw them out easily, or sell them.

Anyway, I'll stop munching at your brains with new information, and I shall _hopefully_ get the next chapter up tomorrow. It's not quite done, so please don't hassle me if it's not up on time. I shall be working on it tonight though. Have a good night everyone!


	5. Princess Cloud

Well, here's the next chapter peoples. Sorry it took so long. I've just recently moved to the UK for a year, and it's been chaos galore. :) So if I don't post for a while, I apologise. It's a long chapter though! I hope this makes up for it. :)

Anywho, enjoy reading! ^_^

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Chapter 4 – Princess Cloud

Cloud hated acting like an animal on pure instinct, he really did, but when it came to this situation it was impossible not to. Here was Yuffie, grinning at him and holding up a full length princess dress with a freaking meter long wig of blond hair. A freaking meter long wig! There was no way in darkness he was pretending to be Rapunzel!

Hissing and backing towards the wall as Yuffie advanced forward, Cloud scuttled for her bookshelf slowly and dived for it when he considered himself close enough. Unfortunately she seemed to be expecting this and caught him, ripping him out of his pyjamas and pushing him into the dress. Okay, so Cloud could stand the dress, he really could. But the wig? Definitely not.

Why? Three very simple reasons:

1) He hated long hair. Absolutely despised it. Zack had once suggested that Cloud should grow his hair out for undercover missions. Well, that most certainly hadn't sat well with Cloud and his best friend had wound up with a black eye and a couple of missing teeth.

2) The wig was wool. Last time Cloud had worn a wool wig he'd been trying to get the grease out of his hair for day on end. Granted, this was processed, but that didn't mean that the memory was any less traumatising.

3) The yellow colour of the wig clashed horribly with the dress, and it didn't even match his hair! Honestly! She could at _least _gain a fashion sense, or a sense of colour!

"There, see, it's not so bad," Yuffie said with a smile as she held up a now dressed Cloud.

Cloud just hissed at her, stiffening as she went for the wig. Footsteps sounded down the hallway and leather clad legs walked past. "LEOOOOON!" the blond wailed as he made a dash for the door before Yuffie could stop him.

"Cloud, wait!"

Gathering his skirts and hitching them up, Cloud ran faster and sprinted down the hallway. "Leon! Leon, wait! Help me!"

Leon stopped just as he was about to walk down the stairs and turned, only to find an eight inch Cloud tearing down the hallway after him in a floor length, poofy, lacy, sparkly and frilly dress with Yuffie running after him, a look of panic on her face. Bending down, he scooped the blond fighter up and Cloud immediately clambered up and hid in his hair.

"Leon, give him back, please!" the ninja pleaded and fell to her knees in front of the older man.

"Don't you dare," Cloud hissed in his ear and Leon felt a small hand grab the cartilage on the curve of his ear for balance.

"Why?" Leon asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Because I haven't finished dressing him; he needs his wig!"

Glancing at the blond that now appeared to be in his possession, Leon's other eyebrow rose. "He looks pretty dressed to me."

Yuffie glared at the two of them for a few seconds before a grin slowly crossed her lips. "You're right, his is. Bye!" she disappeared then in an explosion of smoke that left both males coughing.

"She's plotting something," Cloud announced once the air cleared.

"I'm sure she is. When is she not?" Leon replied dryly. "Come on, let's go get breakfast. Why are you so upset about wearing a wig? I would have thought you'd be more upset about the dress."

"It's like a meter long! And it's ugly, and wool! The colour's also hideous. It's yellow, not blond!"

Leon snorted in amusement at the small blonde's rant of outrage. "You sound like a girl."

Blushing, Cloud just glared up at Leon's nose from his seated position on the brunette's shoulder. "Shut up… Zack and Aerith used to dress me up so I could go undercover in the SOLDIER program when on missions. I had to pick up some fashion sense otherwise I would have been found out the moment I set foot in the towns."

"You're a closet cross dresser?" Leon commented as he entered the kitchen where Aerith and Cid were.

"Spike's always been a cross dresser Leon," Cid grumbled as he took a sip of his coffee. "I'm surprised you haven't found out before now."

Aerith giggled as Cloud leapt from the brunette's shoulder to plant a solid kick to the mechanic's ear.

"Ow! Shit Blondie, that hurt!" The older man snarled and glared at the furious blond in a dress that was standing his ground on the table and glaring angrily with fists clenched. Cid couldn't help it – he just laughed. Aerith laughed as well while a smirk crossed Leon's face. There was just something about mini Cloud in a poofy, sparkly, floor length dress glaring up at them that was too funny to pass up the opportunity to laugh.

"Shut up!" Cloud snapped and stormed across to Leon, demanding wordlessly to be picked up.

Snickering, Leon complied without comment and Cloud just said "bench," and Leon walked over, Cloud sliding down his arm to drop lightly onto the bench.

Throwing one last dirty look at the trio, he began making breakfast for himself with an overly large butter knife and a piece of bread. "Cloud, let me help," Aerith suggested as the small blond tried to slice through the solid butter.

Growling at it in annoyance, he finally nodded and stepped back to let the brunette woman butter his bread for him.

"What would you like on it?" she asked and went for the spreads in the cupboard below.

"Um…jam?" he ventured questioningly and she nodded.

"What type?"

"Raspberry please." A jar clunked itself on the bench and cupboard doors clanged shut. Aerith spread the jam for him and cut it up into smaller pieces to make it easier to manage. "There you are!"

"Thanks," he mumbled and quickly got stuck into his breakfast after pulling the elbow length gloves off.

Smiling as she watched him, Aerith turned to Leon. "Coffee?"

"Yes please," he said with a nod and moved into the kitchen to make his own breakfast.

A few minutes later, Leon had a coffee and toast, Cloud was halfway through his piece of jam covered bread and Cid was drinking his coffee again while reading the newspaper at the kitchen table.

Yuffie bounced down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Morning everyone!" he chirped and Cloud sent her a scathing glare amongst the pleasant greetings. The ninja grinned as the blond got up and began edging his way towards the other side of the counter warily. "Don't worry Cloud, I don't have the wig."

"Wig?" Cid asked in confusion and both eyebrows shot up when he saw the blond fighter physically relax and slump forward.

"Thank god," Cloud murmured to himself.

"What wig?" Cid asked again in confusion as he saw Leon bite his lower lip to stop a smile from crossing his lips.

"A monstrosity of a thing," Cloud explained and went about getting himself a drink of water.

"It's not quite that bad," Yuffie defended with a scowl. "It looks quite pretty actually."

Yeah, and you have no sense of fashion," he retorted before washing down the sticky substance as he drank.

"I do too!"

"That thing looks hideous!"

"It does not!"

"Does too!"

"Both of you stop it!" Aerith interjected. "Yuffie, I'm sure it looks wonderful but you know how picky Cloud is about things."

"Hey! I am not picky!" Cloud protested with a frown and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Yes, you are," was the amused answer from both Cid and Leon.

Cloud grumbled to himself and walked over to the edge of the bench. Looking down, he noted the drop to the floor and the number of drawers he could use to slow his fall. "Cloud, no," Aerith reprimanded gently as she scooped him up, despite his protests.

"But…!"

"No! We don't want you hurting yourself."

Blowing the spikes out of his eyes in irritation, he nodded and allowed himself to be set on Yuffie's shoulder. Holding onto her short hair while she moved around and got breakfast, as soon as she sat down at the table he was on the solid wood and moving towards Cid.

"What news?" he asked as he pulled himself onto the older blonde's shoulder.

"Nothing special. Just the usual gossip."

A grunt from his perch and the shoulder he was sitting on moved as Cid went for his coffee cup.

"What are your plans for the day?" Leon asked seriously.

"I want to fix this glitch with the defence system that's popped up. Tron sent me a memo this morning seeing as he can't fix it himself."

"I wonder what it is," the brunette mused thoughtfully.

"Probably just a corrupted code in the program file. It shouldn't be too hard. After that I promised to fix some things for some people. That'll probably take me the rest of the day."

"Alright,' Leon acknowledged with a nod. "What about you two?"

"I need to go shopping,' Aerith announced. "I'll go after breakfast is finished. I should be back before lunch."

"I'm staying and looking after Cloud while she's gone," Yuffie announced happily. "Then I'm on patrol later this afternoon."

Cloud whimpered at the first lot of news and felt Cid chuckle underneath him.

"What about you?" Aerith asked as she moved about cleaning up.

"I have some paperwork to catch up on, so I'm staying here for the morning."

The miniature blond almost collapsed in relief and heaved a huge sigh to get rid of the tension his body was holding. "Thank the darkness," he whispered.

Cid chuckled again and took another sip of his coffee.

"What about you Cloud?" Leon asked seriously.

"Keeping away from that disastrous wig," he announced before adding, "and Patch," as an afterthought.

Laughter filled the kitchen at the last statement and eventually died down when Cloud glared at them all with glittering blue eyes. "Come on Cloud, you can come with me," Yuffie announced and swooped forward to pick him up off Cid's shoulder before the blond could protest.

"But… but I wanna stay with Leon!" he whined but didn't fight her hold.

"I'll come and get you in an hour or so," Leon promised with a small smile. "Just bear with it until then."

Cloud sighed and but nodded all the same. "Alright…"

"Great! Come on, let's go find Patch!" Yuffie cheered and walked out of the room.

"What? Why?" Cloud wailed anxiously. "He'll eat me!"

"Well, it seems kind of unfair that you should be the only one dressing up, don't you think?" she reasoned with a smile. "Don't worry, I'll put you down first where he won't be able to get you."

The blond whimpered but nodded anyway after resigning himself to his fate.

Leon was halfway through his paperwork an hour or so later and signed another piece of paper with a sigh. Loud crashes from upstairs shook the floorboards and loud yowls, hisses and scratches could be heard, along with Yuffie's rather loud "Patch, stop it!"

Swearing at the mess of papers he'd managed to knock over, Leon ignored them for the time being and raced up the stairs. Opening the ninja's door, he was quickly assaulted with fabric and cat fur as it flew into the air, and a rather terrified looking Cloud cowering in a corner of the desk as he watched Yuffie attempt to catch the freaked out cat that ran around trying to tear some sort of green suit away from its head.

Sneaking over, he quickly scooped up Cloud and closed the door again. "Thanks," Cloud breathed happily. "That was probably the single most terrifying thing I've ever seen! Well, since I've been this size at least," he babbled and glared at Leon's snort of amusement as they walked downstairs.

"That would have terrified anyone your size. The noise was enough to scare me."

Blinking and staring up at the brunette man with wide eyes, the blond grinned. "Really?"

"Really," Leon confirmed and swept a hand towards the mess in the lounge room. "As you can see I made a mess."

Cloud laughed and stood on the table that Leon put him on. "A very big mess," he agreed and jumped down to help collect papers so they could be put in a pile.

A few minutes later, Leon was sorting out papers while Cloud was watching him from his perch on a couch pillow when Yuffie popped her head into the room. "Hey…Squall?"

"It's Leon," he growled and glared at her. "What?"

"Do you have Cloud?"

"Yes, why?" he asked suspiciously and put the papers down on the table.

"Ah…"

"Hi Yuffie," Cloud greeted with a wave from his seat.

She smiled in relief. "Thank goodness! I thought Patch might have eaten you during the racket when you suddenly disappeared."

"What were you trying to do to the poor cat anyway?" Leon asked in confusion.

"Well, I was trying to get him into a dress-up outfit as well, but I guess he didn't like the head…"

"You guess," Cloud repeated in disbelief. "Yuffie, I could have told you that from the way his tail was twitching. In fact, I did tell you that – three times!"

She shrugged before grinning. "Hey, Leon?"

"What do you want?" he asked suspiciously. Yuffie only ever used his name properly when she wanted something, or was in trouble.

"How long until you're done?"

He glanced at the pile of paperwork. "Probably another twenty minutes. Why?"

"Can I borrow Cloud again please?" she begged.

"Why?"

"Can I?"

"Why?"

"I agree with Leon. Why?" Cloud demanded with a scowl.

Yuffie sighed. "I want to take photos with you and Patch together."

Cloud's eyes narrowed dangerously. "What do you mean by 'together'?"

"As in you on top of a castle and Patch sleeping at the bottom as a dragon."

Sighing, Cloud stood up and dutifully walked over to where Yuffie could easily get him. "Alright, fine."

"Are you sure?" Leon asked quietly with a frown.

"I did promise," he explained with a shrug. "I'll scream if I need help?"

"I'll keep my ears open then."

Yuffie swept the small blond up and was up the stairs before either of them could change their minds, cackling manically.

"LEEEEOOON~!" Yuffie yelled about half an hour later.

"What?" came the annoyed response from the lounge room.

"Could you please come up here for a minute?"

There was no response but she heard the familiar creak of the steps a few seconds later. "What?" he asked as he entered the room.

"Don't shut the-" Bang! "-Door…" Cloud cried out before sighing. "Great."

"What's going on?" Leon asked curiously as he looked around the room.

"Leon, pick up the chainmail and helmet that's sitting beside you," Yuffie instructed from her hidden area.

Turning around, the brunette tried the door and scowled when he couldn't open it. "Yuffie, what's going on?" he asked warily.

"Leon, put the chainmail and helmet on," she instructed again. "Trust me, you're going to need it."

"Not until I find out what's going on," he announced and leant against the door casually.

"You need to make your way to Patch to save Cloud to disable all of the traps I've set up in here, and Patch has the key to the door on his collar."

"Traps?" Leon echoed.

"Yes, traps," Yuffie repeated in annoyance. "You're going to need the chainmail and helmet, trust me."

Leon frowned as he looked around the room for his fighting companion but couldn't see her. "And what happens if I say no?"

"Leon, please, just do it," Cloud pleaded as he gulped and looked down at the cat sitting about a meter before him. "I don't like the looks Merlin's cat is giving me."

Patch meowed and licked his lips as he curled up at the base of the tower with a loud purr.

Sighing, the brunette gave in and put on the requested costume. "You'd better believe that I'm going to hit you for this later, and it'll be hard."

"Think of it as a training exercise."

"In your room? I doubt I'll get much."

"Never doubt me Squall," came the cheerful voice and he groaned. That damn name was back.

"So, what do I do? Just walk forward?"

"Mm hmm!" Was the confirming hum. "Just watch out for flying objects."

"What flying objects?" he asked as his brown eyes roamed the walls and ceiling. "I don't see anything."

"You'd be surprised," she cackled.

Sighing, Leon took a step forward and when nothing happened he took another one.

"Look out!" Cloud suddenly screamed and watched anxiously as his rescuer dropped to the ground and throwing knives sailed over his head to bury themselves in the opposite wall.

Leon groaned in frustration and pushed himself upright, pausing when he felt something snap under his hand. "What…?" Diving forward as a whizzing sound flew towards him, he looked back and found metal stars imbedded in the carpet.

"Watch out for the flame throwers!" Cloud suddenly yelled and Leon looked up at him in confusion.

"Flame throwers?" The air around him was suddenly bright red and heat hit the side of his head. "Shit!" Throwing himself forward again, he made a mad dash for Cloud and snatched him up. Something clicked and Leon sighed in relief. "What the hell does she have flame throwers for?"

"The more important question I want to know the answer to is where she got them," Cloud muttered.

Leon nodded in agreement and pulled the helmet off before setting Cloud on his shoulder. Snatching the key off Patch, he took in the cat's appearance in amusement. The grey cat was watching Cloud with interest, his tail flicking anxiously. What Leon found amusing though was the pair of green wings and horns Yuffie had managed to attach to the big grey cat. "Good Patch," he praised and bent forward to pat him, quickly pulling his hand back when Patch whirled around to bite Leon's hand with a scowl set on his features.

"Yuffie, get out here!" Leon demanded and glared at the grinning black haired ninja as she crawled out of her cupboard.

"Well done, you got him!"

"I'm not impressed," he said and crossed his arms with a raised eyebrow.

She walked across the room to pull a camera off the shelf with a grin. "I know. Well, it was amusing, and I have evidence as film!"

"…You what?" Cloud asked in shock. "When did you set that up?"

"When you were watching Patch," she replied cheekily and moved towards the window. "Well, it's been fun for today. Later Squall, see you Cloud!" and with those last words she leapt out the window.

"Yuffie!" Leon yelled and raced over to the window. "Argh! She is so going to get it when I next see her," he growled and Cloud patted his neck understandingly.

"It's alright. Come on, let's get out of here."

"Agreed," he muttered and quickly but carefully made his way to the door. "What is Patch supposed to be anyway?"

"A dragon," Cloud replied dryly. "She thought it would be cute to turn me into Rapunzel and Patch into a dragon that was guarding the base of the castle.

"Uh huh…"

"That's what I thought!"

"Did it work?"

"I guess… but don't tell her that. She'll attempt to do another one." Cloud shuddered and Leon smirked.

"Don't worry, I won't."

"I wonder when Aerith will get back…"

"Why? Are you hungry?"

"…Sort of…"

Leon sighed and walked into the kitchen. "Come on then, let's get you something to eat."

"Sorry…"

"It's not your fault."

Leon moved about the kitchen in silence as he pulled food out of the fridge. "Hey, Leon?"

"Hmm?" he turned to face the blond fighter that was sitting on the bench.

"Thanks, for everything," he mumbled with a blush but smiled up at the brunette leader anyway.

Leon gave his own version of a large smile back. "You're welcome."

**_Well, I've officially put myself in deep shit while doing this today. So much so that I'm not quite confident enough to show my face at home just yet. You'll see why if you check out my video blog on my main page. Don't ask where I got the flame throwers because I promised not to disclose such information._**

**_So, I'm currently sitting on my roof typing this and a shadow has just popped up beside me. It's kinda cute… Ow! Okay, maybe not. It just bit me when I tried to pat it. Stupid shadow. Whoa… nice splat. I just kicked it off the roof. Anyway, doesn't my new doll just look absolutely adorable? I love the dress! *squeals* Definitely worth it. Uh oh… Aerith's home. She's going to flip when she sees my room. Time to scat. Anywho, enjoy the pics and be on the lookout for tomorrows!_**

**_Greatestninjaever~!_**


	6. Vampire Cloud

Aaaaaand, chapter 5. :) Let me know what you think?

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 5 – Vampire Cloud!

"YUFFIE!" Leon roared the next morning, promptly waking everyone in the household and causing various people to fall out of beds or hit heads on walls.

Leon had gone to sleep with Cloud on his pillow the night before and when he'd woken up the following morning the small blond was gone. After walking the entire household a couple of times, Leon heard whimpers coming from Yuffie's room and opened the door. There he found her snapping pictures of a newly dressed up Cloud.

Insert yell of rage here and we're back where we started.

Yuffie's head shot up, her eyes wide, and as Leon took a running leap at her she threw a couple of pellets to the ground and smoke erupted, filling the air. Coughing and waving his hand to clear the smoke, he growled when he realised she'd disappeared. "You alright?" he asked quietly while turning to check on his smallest team member.

"Yeah…my eyes are watering though. Stupid makeup…"

"Makeup?"

"She somehow managed to put black stuff around my eyes. It's kinda painful because there's so much of it."

"Let me see," he said and bent down to pick Cloud up. The blond fighter was in what looked like a red silk shirt, black pants, black waistcoat, black boots and a red and black cape. His blue eyes were lined with black and in his mouth were small sharp things. "…are those fangs?" he asked finally.

Cloud blinked and touched one experimentally with his tongue. "Yeah… I'm not sure how she did it but they won't come off."

Leon sighed. "Well, at least it's better than the dress you were wearing yesterday."

"Yeah… the satin shirt is nice though. I kinda like it."

"It does look nice. Come on, let's see if we can get this black stuff off you." Walking into the bathroom, Leon placed the blond down on the bench gently and found a tissue, which he handed to Cloud and the fighter started dabbing at his eyes with it, the material coming away black each time. "So, how did Yuffie catch you this time?"

Cloud shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure. One minute I was in your room the next thing I know I'm having black stuff dabbed on my eyes and I'm in a completely different outfit."

"Oh…"

"Yeah…"

"I swear I locked the door."

"I think you did. She was complaining about locks and wasted time."

"Since when has Yuffie been able to pick locks?" Leon asked in surprise.

"Since today I guess…." A heavy sigh caught the brunette's attention. "Damnit, it's stained. Looks like I'm wearing black mascara for today whether I want to or not."

"If it makes you feel any better you look fine," the gunblade wielder soothed with a sigh.

Cloud blushed and tossed the tissue to Leon to throw away. "Thanks…"

"I'm going to go look for Yuffie," Leon announced at breakfast.

Cloud's head shot up at the sudden announcement. "Can I come with you?"

"Cloud, no!" Aerith protested with a frown.

"Why not?" the blond shot back angrily. "I want to get out of the house and Leon's leaving so why can't I go with him?"

"Do you know how cold it is outside? You'll freeze!"

"Thanks why I'll have Leon," Cloud pointed out and grinned up at the brunette man.

"Leon…" Aerith began weakly as she looked at the brunette fighter as well.

Leon sighed and shrugged. "It's fine with me. He'll crawl in against my neck again if he begins to freeze, and it's not that cold out today. He should be fine.

Cid blinked just as he took a sip of his coffee. "Wow… I think that's the most amount of words I've ever heard you speak while sticking up for someone."

Leon didn't comment and just ignored the older man, instead focusing on Aerith.

She sighed and nodded finally. "Alright."

"Yay!" Cloud cheered and quickly finished his breakfast. "Hurry up Leon," he urged and jumped down before running out of the room.

All three adults watched him go with curiosity. "Where's he going?" Cid asked eventually.

"No idea," Aerith murmured just as they heard an excited "mrow?" a thump as something was knocked over and Cloud's "Aerith! Help me! AHHH!"

She quickly hurried out to fetch him.

Cid sighed and continued drinking his coffee. "Kid's cute, but he's a trouble magnet."

Leon nodded and finished his toast. "You coming to help?"

"Nah… I've got other stuff I need to do."

He nodded again and stood up. "Later."

Cloud groaned from his perch on Leon's shoulder. "Where is she?" he asked in irritation. They'd been out looking for Yuffie for the past few hours and, as Leon had suspected, the ninja was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm sure she'll turn up eventually," Leon soothed and continued walking through the main square of Radiant Garden. People around him nodded and smiled in greeting. He nodded back.

"Well you sure are popular aren't you?" Cloud grumbled.

"Not my fault," he reasoned with a sigh as he looked around the rooftops.

"Leon," a voice behind them greeted neutrally.

Leon turned around and Cloud scrambled backwards in shock, almost falling off the brunette's shoulder in the process. "Sephiroth," Leon greeted warily. "What can I do for you?"

"You haven't seen Cloud around have you?" the silver haired man asked honestly and crossed his arms across his chest. "I haven't seen him for about a week."

"Ask him why he wants to see me!" Cloud hissed in Leon's ear as he clutched at the hanging strands of hair.

"Why do you want to see him?"

"Normally I check every three or four days to see if he's alive, but I haven't seen him lately," Sephiroth announced without any embarrassment whatsoever.

Cloud and Leon blinked at the announcement. "You what?" the blond squeaked loudly.

Sephiroth blinked the high pitched squeak. "Did you just…?"

"No," Leon answered immediately with a glare.

"Don't say that, he'll know I'm here~!" Cloud wailed and Leon flinched at the sudden loud voice in his ear.

Sephiroth's eyes zoned in on the blond spot and source of noise on Leon's shoulder suspiciously. Cloud squeaked and shrunk back. Green eyes blinked and the silver haired man stretched out a hand, making for the yellow speck he'd seen.

Leon shifted a hand to cover the blond on his shoulder. "What are you doing?"

"Can I just…? Sorry, but I just have to check this," Sephiroth apologised, pure curiosity written across his face as he reached his hand in behind the brunette's hand and ignored the sudden pain in his hand as he groped and grabbed what felt like a small body and gently de-tangled it from Leon's hair. "What the…?"

"Say anything and I will personally kick your ass," Cloud hissed angrily as he clutched at the pale hand holding him.

"How…?" Sephiroth asked in surprise as he took in the eight inch tall blond in his grip.

"Heartless attack," Leon explained as he reached forward to retrieve the angry blond.

Sephiroth let the brunette take the smaller fighter and set him back on his shoulder. Cloud stood there glaring at him in black leather pants and a cape. "Say a word about this to anyone and I'll stalk you in your sleep."

"Who would I tell?" Sephiroth replied in amusement.

"…I'll bite you," Cloud threatened and bared his teeth, the small fangs he was wearing showing.

Sephiroth blinked at the threat as Leon sighed and tapped the small blond on the head with a finger. "That's enough Cloud. Sephiroth, you haven't seen Yuffie, have you?"

"…Yuffie?"

"Small girl about this big, uses ninja techniques."

"Oh, her." Sephiroth grunted and scrunched his nose up tightly in thought. "I may have…" he finally answered slowly.

"Where?" Cloud asked anxiously.

"I think she was inside the castle last I saw her."

Leon sighed. "Great, we'll be spending the next few hours searching. Come on Cloud. Thankyou Sephiroth."

"Bye," Cloud grumbled and sat down on the brunette's shoulder again.

Sephiroth watched them go in amusement and turned to the pile of boxes near the wall. "They're gone."

"Phew! Thanks Sephiroth. I owe you one," Yuffie sighed as she climbed out of a wooden crate. "I was sure Squally was going to catch me."

"If you didn't go chasing shadows they wouldn't have found you in the first place," the silver haired man intoned before turning to walk away.

"Yeah, but this one stole my smoke bombs. I had to get them back before they exploded."

Sephiroth just 'hmph'ed and unfurled his wing, disappearing.

"This is hopeless!" Cloud wailed as Leon took out yet another heartless in the castle corridors. "We've been walking around here for ages, and not a trace of her."

Leon nodded and leant against the wall, breath slightly uneven. "I'm beginning to think so. We've been here for a few hours so far, and all we're drawing out is more heartless."

"Let's get out of here. Even Yuffie can't spend that long in a place like this."

"Agreed," Leon grumbled and began walking towards the upper levels, taking out yet another heartless that appeared. Cloud held on for dear life as his 'steed' jumped out of the way of a fireball and barely avoided the claws that sung for his legs. Once they were out, Leon sat down on one of the castle walls and looked up at the tower that was towering over them. "It's lunchtime," he announced as he noticed the angle of the sun. "Let's head back. We'll keep looking after that."

Cloud nodded and held on as Leon began making his way back to the house. Quietly slipping into the house, they made their way over to the kitchen, Leon pausing when he heard a familiar voice. "…not nice. You should just turn yourself over. He's not going to do anything terribly bad, even if you do probably deserve it."

"Yeah, but Cloud's involved, and that makes it worse. You know how he gets when I mess with Cloud. He'll kill me!"

"Is that Yuffie?" Cloud asked quietly.

Leon nodded and put the small blond on his shoulder on the ground. "Go and see what the situation in the kitchen looks like and then come back and tell me."

Cloud nodded and ran off, coming back a few minutes later. "Yuffie isn't facing the door. She's standing where she normally stands while watching Aerith cook."

Shaking his head in disbelief, he quietly laid his gunblade on the ground and silently made his way towards the kitchen. Yuffie stood there chatting absent-mindedly as Leon stepped foot in the kitchen. Aerith's eyes widened as she spotted the brunette and he quickly placed a finger on his lips, a sign to keep quiet. Her eyes went back to her cooking, Yuffie not noticing the silent exchange.

"…swear Cloud is completely and utterly gay, and so is Leon. Have you seen the way Leon's acting around Cloud? He's so protective it's kinda cute in a way. It's a shame Leon wasn't shrunk as well; then I could have had two dolls!"

"And what would you have me do as a doll?" Leon asked in amusement as he wrapped a hand around the ninja's upper arm so she couldn't get away.

Yuffie screamed in terror and practically jumped out of her skin. Cloud, who was watching them from the doorway cracked up laughing and fell to the ground as he clutched at his stomach, tears rolling down his cheeks. Leon chuckled in amusement but kept his grip on the black haired girls arm. Aerith giggled and sent the other girl an apologetic smile.

"Jesus Leon! Don't DO that!" Yuffie yelled and clutched at her chest. "I thought I was going to have a heart attack!"

"Nonsense, you're far too young," Leon informed with a smirk. "and you should have been paying more attention, instead of ranting about how you think Cloud and I should be gay and love each other."

Yuffie at least had the decency to blush. "You heard all that huh?"

"Every word. Now, what are we going to do with you now that I've caught you?"

The ninja clapped her hands together and bowed low, eyes squeezed shut. "Please, please, please forgive me Leon! I won't do it again!"

He snorted in amusement and shoved his captive into a chair. "Of course you will. This is you we're talking about. Any ideas Aerith? Cloud?"

"There's always the extra heartless that are running around at the moment," Cloud informed as he finished scrambling up Leon's pant leg.

The brunette looked at him in surprise. "You're right. Okay, Yuffie, until Cloud is back to himself you're taking out Cloud's portion of heartless as well."

She squawked in indignation. "But that's not fair!"

"Plus extra," he added on with a glare. She quickly shut up. "Good. Now that's decided I'll tell Cid. How long until lunch Aerith?"

"I'm almost done," She replied with a smile.

Leon nodded and picked up his smaller charge. "Come on, I need to go wash up."

As the two males made their way out of the kitchen they could hear Yuffie grumbling. "Thanks for warning me."

"You would have been caught anyway."

Yuffie sighed and glared at the scenery beyond the window before smiling. Despite all the inconveniences it had been a fun day.

**_Well peeps, I got caught. I'm on extra heartless duty for the next week. Knowing Leon he won't follow up any further than that. Anyway, Vampire Cloud! Isn't he adorable? I love him! I must admit that it was really annoying putting makeup on him. The mascara and eyeliner was the worst! _**

**_Well, I'd better get to bed. Old Sour Puss is rolling his eyes at me from the doorway and telling me to go to sleep. Look forward to more pictures tomorrow!_**

**_Greatestninjaever~!_**

* * *

Yes, I know Sephiroth is screwed up, but it's sort of necessary for the story. :p deal with it. Let me know what you think?


	7. Kitten Cloud

Woot! I finished chapter 6, and it's posted! :D Enjoy reading! ^_^

* * *

Chapter 6 – Kitten Cloud

The next morning found Cloud fast asleep in Yuffie's room, in the doll house, when it was still the ungodly hour of o'dark hundred. Yuffie roused herself. She was going to have to be quick if she wanted to catch as many heartless as she wanted before breakfast that morning. One thing Leon and the others never knew was that Merlin had discovered a drove of heartless and Yuffie had followed him silently. He'd been meaning to tell Leon about it when she's popped up and offered to take care of it. A powerful fire spell later and the drove was burning and she was quickly taking out the escaping heartless that were pouring out by the hundreds.

Quickly dressing Cloud in that days' outfit she then disappeared out the window. She had a few hours until dawn.

* * *

Cloud awoke that morning feeling very warm, and a lot larger than normal. Stretching, he very quickly became aware of the fact that he was lying on Yuffie's duvet cover and it was already time everyone was up. A knock on the door had Cloud looking at it as it opened to reveal Cid. "I was told to come and get you for breakfast," he grumbled and chuckled when he saw the blond on the bed. "My god… this is something I never thought I'd see."

"What?" Cloud asked in confusion and pushed himself upright, almost overbalancing and blinking when he realised just how far his arms could extend. "What the hell?"

Sighing, Cid walked over and picked the small blond up before walking over to the mirror on Yuffie's wardrobe.

Cloud stared at his reflection in shock. He was in a kitten suit. A two centimetre thick padded kitten suit, that was his exact shade of yellow. Where the hell did Yuffie get these outfits? And when did she get Cloud into this one? "I'm…"

"…A cat," Cid finished with a snort of amusement.

Cloud reached up a padded paw and pulled it off his hand before reaching up to touch a furry blond cat ear that was looking quite solid. "This is so weird."

"I agree. Come on, let's get you down to breakfast," Cid grumbled and left the ninja's room.

Cloud put the paw back on as they were walking down the stairs. Aerith squealed when she saw the small fighter and flew forwards, snatching him from Cid's hands to crush Cloud in a hug. "You're so cute!"

Leon just blinked at the odd scene before him before going back to his coffee with an amused smirk and a shake of his head. Cloud clutched at his head, highly disorientated by the sudden movement and nuzzling to his head that was happening. "Aerith…" he moaned eventually and she immediately stopped, holding him up at arm's length to scrutinise him with a smile.

"You really are cute. Yuffie really outdid herself this time around."

Cloud sighed heavily and blew a stray spike out of his eyes. "Thanks…"

"Now, Cloud, what would you like for breakfast?" Aerith asked as she put the blond down on the bench.

"Something," he replied and attempted to stand upright in the padded kitten suit. "I feel like a big blob of cuteness," Cloud grumbled and gave up, giving into the shape of the suit and curled up on the bench with a yawn, the pads providing enough comfort to lie comfortably.

Aerith giggled and went around cutting up some cheese and carrot sticks, along with some milk and other things for her friend before placing them on a plate. "Here you are Cloud."

"Thanks," he said and sat up, pulling the paws off and began eating with little difficulty.

Leon stood up and walked over, placing his coffee cup in the sink to be washed at a later date while he eyed off the blond curiously. Eventually he scowled and reached over to gently lift the padded Cloud off the bench.

"Hey, what are you…!" Cloud began as he was gently turned and lifted to eye-level with the brunette.

"I'm sorry Cloud, I just have to do this," Leon apologised with a grimace and held their smallest charge in both hands. "It's just too tempting."

"What are you talking about?" Cloud asked curiously and squeaked as he felt the padded suite being squeezed around his torso. "Leon!"

"That's kind of cool…" said brunette responded with a curious look as he continued to gently squeeze repeatedly.

Cloud blushed and glared at the other fighter. "Shut up and put me down."

Leon smirked in amusement but complied with the request, a tell-tale gleam to his eyes as his fingers gently tugged on the blond ears.

"Ow… ow! Hey, ow!" Cloud protested as his hair was yanked.

"She actually attached them to your hair?" he asked in amazement as cloud batted his fingers away while clutching at his abused scalp.

"Unfortunately, yes," the blond grumbled and crawled back over to where his food was sitting. "She's probably the only one that knows how to get them off too."

"Probably," Aerith sighed and began cleaning up breakfast. "Speaking of Yuffie, I hope she got something to eat before she left."

"Knowing that girl more than likely," Cid grunted as he finished his coffee.

Aerith nodded and left everything on the sink to dry by itself after having been washed up. "I'm going to go find Patch and put him outside."

"Alright," Leon answered with a nod and cleaned Cloud's plate as the last piece of food was finished, leaving it to dry on the sink with the others.

Aerith walked out of the kitchen and Cloud got up to wash his hands before putting the paws back on.

A few minutes later the brunette woman walked in with a book. "I can't find him so maybe he's already put himself out?"

"Maybe," Leona greed and turned to walk out of the kitchen door. "Come on Cid, we've got rounds to do."

Cid grumbled and stood up. "Fine. Later Aerith, Spike."

"Bye," Aerith waved while Cloud just watched them go. "Well, now they're gone I think I want to finish my book."

"I'll come in with you," Cloud said and grumbled quietly to himself as Aerith picked him up to cart into the lounge room with her and sat him down on a cushion beside her.

"Here you are. Just tell me if you want anything, alright?"

Cloud nodded and yawned, curling up on the cushion. "Sure."

Aerith smiled and opened her book to start reading. When quiet snores reached her ears she looked down and giggled. Cloud really was too cute in that outfit for his own good. Resting a hand on her friend, she gently scratched his head with a finger and went back to her book.

Leon walked back through the front door sometime before lunch and found Aerith in the lounge room, her nose stuck in a book. She looked up as he put his gunblade down by the door. "Welcome back."

"I ran into Yuffie. She'll be back for lunch."

Aerith nodded and stood up, putting her book down where she was previously sitting. "Cloud's asleep. Let's go into the kitchen and I'll make some tea."

Leon nodded and followed her as she led the way into the kitchen.

"Where's Cid?"

"Fixing something for someone. I don't know the details but it'll take him a few hours."

"Alright," Aerith said with a sigh as she boiled the jug. "Any luck on finding the heartless information from Tron?"

"No, unfortunately," Leon sighed. "There's no information about Rouge Book Heartless anywhere on that computer. They must have evolved after Ansem the Wise."

The brunette woman sighed again as she poured the tea. "I wonder how long he'll be stuck like this."

"Until Merlin gets back at the very least, as far as we know."

* * *

Cloud shifted in his sleep as he slowly carted himself out of his dreams. For some reason he felt like he was swaying… Maybe Aerith was moving him somewhere. The movements stopped and Cloud curled up around himself again. He wasn't quite ready to wake up just yet.

* * *

Aerith felt panic zip through her as she walked out into the lounge room and Cloud was gone. "…Cloud?" she called as she walked over to look in the indentions in the couch. Maybe he'd rolled into one of them? "Cloud!" she called again when she couldn't find him, her panic growing. "Cloud!"

"What's wrong?" Leon asked as he emerged from the kitchen.

"Cloud's gone," she blurted out and ducked down to check under the couch. "We were only talking for five minutes. How could he disappear?" She jumped up again and Leon watched as Aerith ran around in a panic. "Cloud!"

Leon raised a hand to stop her and sighed when she rushed out of the lounge room. Hand dropping, Leon walked over to where he'd seen Cloud sleeping before and knelt down, eyes narrowing as he spotted a white hair on the blue couch. Maybe…

Getting up, he walked over to Patch's basket and shook his head with a smile as he noticed the small yellow ball of fluff that was being licked my Merlin's large cat.

Patch growled a warning at Leon as he pulled Cloud closer.

"Alright you, let Cloud go," Leon sighed as he reached a hand forward to pluck Patch rather ungracefully by the ruff and held him up in the air.

Patch hissed and made a swipe for Leon's hand, meowing loudly in agitation when he missed and made another swipe.

Leon watched in amusement. "You're a fowl tempered thing, aren't you?" Patch just growled deep in the back of his throat and glared at the man holding him.

Cloud groaned and blinked slowly, coming back to consciousness. "Why does my cushion smell like cat…?"

"Probably because you're in the cat basket," Leon explained in amusement.

The blond blinked and sat up groggily. "Why am I here?"

Patch yowled unhappily in Leon's grip as the brunette reached forward to pluck the smaller blond out of the basket.

"Oh shush you," he snapped as he dropped Patch back in his basket that was now Cloud free. "Come on, let's go and find Aerith before she starts tearing her hair out."

Cloud yawned and rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Okay…"

Leon chuckled and began scratching the blonde's head with a finger, smirking when Cloud whimpered and let his head fall forward. "You know, you're kind of cute like this."

"Shut it," the shrunk fighter grumbled and closed his eyes again.

"Aerith!" Leon yelled loudly and there was a loud crashing from upstairs.

"Did you find him?" she called frantically.

"Yes!"

"Oh thank goodness!" The brunette woman raced down the stairs and plucked him from Leon's hands to hug the blond. "Where was he?"

"Kidnapped by Patch."

"You know, I am right here," Cloud grumbled.

"I'm so sorry Cloud."

"Hey guys, I'm back!" Yuffie called happily as she bounced through the front door. "Cloud!" she squealed happily and rushed forward to look at him more closely. "I was right! You do look cute in that outfit! Why are you wet?"

"Patch," Leon explained and Yuffie frowned.

"Damn, now I have to wash the cat suit."

"Is that all you were worried about?" Cloud shrieked and beat his fists on Aerith's hands. "I could have been eaten!"

Yuffie grinned and plucked him from the brunette's hands. "Nah, he's smarter than that."

"What's in the bag?" Leon asked curiously and pointed at the plastic bag she had on her arm.

Yuffie smirked and tapped the side of her nose. "You'll see. It's for me to know and you to find out."

**_Well, it's been a long day but I managed to get enough munny to go shopping so prepare for lots more outfits in the future. Kitten Cloud is adorable! Unfortunately Patch (Merlin's cat) found him while I was out exterminating heartless so the outfit needs a wash. I'll do that tonight. Anyway, I'm exhausted so I'll talk to you all tomorrow. Later!_**

**_Greatestninjaever~!_**


	8. Maid Cloud

Chapter 7 – Maid Cloud

Aerith stretched that morning with a groan and turned to her blond spikey haired glowering accomplice with a smile. "Right, we've got a big day ahead of us! Let's get cleaning."

"Yipee," Cloud grumbled sarcastically and glared at his friend in annoyance. Yuffie had asked Aerith the day before what they would be doing and had cackled madly when she heard , and true to Cloud's terrible gut feeling, she's prepared a bright blue, tight fitting corset and a flared out skirt, _and_, horror upon horrors, had found a pair of blue high heeled shoes that Cloud would swear himself blind were plastic Barbie high heel shoes, thus completing the very ideal of the sky blue maids outfit, which Cloud absolutely despised. Thankfully she'd forgone any of those thigh high stockings and garters, for the moment, and blue was definitely better than pink. Far better.

"Oh cheer up Cloud, you look wonderful. The blue really suits you and you look extremely cute."

"I'm not sure whether that's supposed to make me feel better or worse," Cloud grumbled but climbed down off the dresser anyway. "Come on, let's just get started."

Aerith sighed and complied, pulling out her duster. Picking the blond up, she moved both of them downstairs and into the lounge room. "Where should we start?" the brunette woman asked as she gazed thoughtfully around the lounge room.

"You dust, I'll clean underneath everything," Cloud announced and jumped off his friend's shoulder, squeaking when the short skirt flew up and he landed awkwardly on the high heels Yuffie had stuffed him into while pushing the skirt down. "I still can't believe my feet fit into Barbie high heels," the blond grumbled as he staggered for the shelves before kicking them off halfway there. "Stupid shoes…"

Aerith giggled and followed her instructions on the opposite side of the room. "Yell if you need help."

"Sure," Cloud agreed and crawled under the book case. Coughing and waving a hand in front of his face, Cloud blinked at the grey covering of dust he was kneeling in. "Ick…" he mumbled and dusted his hands off. "Right, let's get started."

Standing as high as he could, which wasn't very far, Cloud began aiming for small rises in the giant dust piles that may or may not be anything. After wading through three piles that came up to his chest, Cloud hit something soft. "Aerith!" he called loudly before coughing.

"Yes Cloud?"

"Could you get me something to stop me choking on dust please?" he asked while dragging the sock towards the light.

"Um, sure. Will a small piece of cloth do?"

"Yep!"

"Alright, I'll be back in a minute," she replied and Cloud caught a glimpse of the brunette woman walking into her sewing room just as he dragged the sock into the light.

Cloud sneezed as the dust cleared and Aerith giggled when she walked back out. "Damn dust," he snuffled and gratefully took the tissue the woman offered him. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Will this do the trick?" she asked and offered him a small square of plain blue cloth.

Nodding, Cloud smiled and took the cloth, tying it around his mouth and nose like a makeshift mask. "Yup, thanks." Sighing, he turned and around, took a deep breath and braced himself. "Right, back to the dusty realm I go. Save me if I start being buried alive?"

Aerith giggled and nodded. "Sure thing Cloud."

Smiling, he quickly darted under the shelving again. Two keys, a brown ribbon that was actually supposed to be pink, a hair brush, two more smelly socks and a fur ball later, Cloud emerged from underneath the bookcase coughing and spluttering. "Damn that's nasty," he muttered and gratefully breathed in the fresh air for a minute or so before diving underneath the TV cabernet.

Aerith was sweeping the kitchen floor when a rather high pitched scream ripped through the silence surrounding her and she dropped the broom and rushed into the lounge room. "Cloud?"

She stopped and stared as her shrunk blond friend was running around in circles in the middle of the floor screaming with a rather large hairy black spider chasing him. "!" Cloud screeched, his voice rapidly getting louder and higher as he glanced over his shoulder and took in the hairy black face and body that at least half his size and was quickly catching up. "UWAAAAAAH!"

Thinking quickly, Aerith grabbed a large glass from the sink that Yuffie had been using this morning, emptied the leftover water into the sink and rushed back into the other room, trapping the spider underneath the glass.

You could almost hear it screeching as it leapt against the glass in fury. "What did you do to it?" Aerith asked curiously as she watched the spider.

"I don't know!" Cloud wailed. "I think I might have walked into its web. One minute I was spider free, the next it was trying to make me spider food!"

"It's alright Cloud," Aerith soothed and looked thoughtfully at the black monster. "How about we put you outside, hmm? You're probably hungry," she cooed and stood up.

"Don't just put it outside," Cloud argued and glanced back nervously. "Kill it!"

"I'm not about to do that Cloud," Aerith said gently and grabbed one of Cid's magazines off the bookcase. She slipped the magazine underneath the glass and spider and carted it outside, releasing it with a shake into the bushes. It quickly disappeared from view and she walked back inside.

"Is it gone?" Cloud asked anxiously as he tried to peer out at the world beyond Aerith s legs and the door.

"It's gone," she replied calmly and shut the door.

"Good. I hate spiders," he explained with a shiver and rubbed one of his arms. "Especially when they're half my size."

Aerith laughed and bent down to hold out a hand. "Are you done cleaning underneath the cupboards?"

"Not quite…"

"Well, let me know when you're finished and I'll run you a bath, okay? You look like you need one desperately."

Cloud looked down at the previously bright blue maid's uniform he was wearing, which was now a dusty grey. "I think so too. I'll let you know. Thanks Aerith."

Aerith smiled and shook her head as she watched her friend disappear cautiously underneath the TV cabernet again. Poor Cloud. She hoped this spell was going to wear off soon, although she had to admit that there was something completely irresistible about Cloud in this form. He's so cute!

* * *

Cloud was getting sick of this. He was currently under the TV cabernet and wading through yet another mound of dust. He was sure he was completely grey, and he felt like a polar bear with a thick layer of dust instead of fur keeping him warm.

Swearing as he accidently kicked something, he plunged his hands down through the fog of settled dust and found a large rectangular box. Making his way behind it carefully, Cloud began pushing the box towards the light. It was an old TV remote that belonged to a TV they no longer had.

"Well that can be thrown," he announced and stretched before heading under the TV cabernet again.

Walking around, Cloud stepped on something that crinkled. Kneeling down, he reached out a grey hand and wiped what was under his foot clean. It was sticky tape.

Reaching out, Cloud found the end of the tape and pulled. A cloud of dust flew up into the air that made the blond cough loudly, staggering back out to the light while it cleared and he could breathe again.

When it was safe for him to go back under, he picked up the now dust coated sticky tape and found the sticky side no long sticky. Taking a deep breath, Cloud heaved the sticky tape again and it peeled up off the ground sending more dust flying into the limited air.

Coughing again, Cloud stepped back and looked at the situation again, thinking of possible alternatives. Maybe he could roll it…

Starting with the end he'd started with, Cloud began rolling the tape and rolled along on all fours, pushing harder when he reached the sticky areas. "Ick…"

Unsticking his hands and grimacing at the feel of glue underneath his knees, Cloud kept going, the roll of sticky tape and dust growing with each roll. Pretty soon the roll reached over Cloud's head and by the time the sticky tape roll was done, the blond was standing up and pushing it along.

Wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, Cloud climbed over the roll of tape and began pushing it back down the now very clean and out of place looking strip of wooden flooring.

Without realising it, his skirt stuck to the sticky tape and steadily rolled up. It wasn't until Cloud felt the tug that he stopped. Scowling, he put one hand against the tape and pulled at the dress with his other. It came free and he frowned as he realised his hand was now stuck. He'd been using dusty patches to roll the sticky tape before, so no glue.

Sighing, Cloud placed his other hand against the sticky tape and pulled. It didn't come loose, and now his other hand was stuck as well.

Scowling, Cloud attempted to push the roll the few inches it needed to the edge and squeaked as it rolled unexpectedly, pulling him over the top of it and falling underneath it, his body getting stuck to the sticky tape.

Sighing heavily, Cloud attempted to get the large mass of sticky tape off him and yelled for Aerith when he found he couldn't.

"Coming Cloud!" she called and the blond heard footsteps walk into the lounge room. "Where are you?"

"Under the TV cabernet! I'm stuck!"

There was quiet for a few seconds before Aerith was heard walking over and kneeling down. Her eye appeared and she blinked in confusion as it darted around the darkened space. "Where are you?"

"Stuck to the big ball of sticky tape," he admitted and wiggled his feet, helping to draw her attention.

Recognition dawned and a few seconds later a hand reached under to gently grab the ball and wriggle it out. "What a big ball of sticky tape," she murmured with a smile as she gently pried her friend off the glue coated plastic.

"Yep," Cloud agreed with a grin as he was pulled free before having a sneezing fit. Sniffling once it died down, he groaned and rubbed his nose.

Aerith smiled fondly. "Had enough?"

"Yep," he agreed and sneezed again.

"Come on, I'll run you a bath in the kitchen."

"Why the kitchen?" he whined.

"Because that way I'll at least know where you are if something happens."

"Nothing is going to happen."

"Another spider could show up."

That shut Cloud up really quickly.

* * *

"Ew! What the hell were you doing today?" Yuffie asked loudly the second she took in the once blue and now grey clothes.

"Cleaning?" Cloud asked quietly as he sat curled up on a cushion with a warm drink in his pyjamas.

Aerith smiled. "He was helping me."

"I know that! I didn't think you'd get QUITE that dirty thank you, so forgive me for being surprised!" She huffed and dropped the clothes on the table again. "I'll throw them in with my clothes later on tonight. You owe me Cloud," the ninja grumbled as she stalked upstairs, leaving a grinning Cloud watching her.

"She's going to try and get me back tomorrow isn't she?" he announced happily.

"Probably," Aerith agreed with a laugh and a smile. "Come on, you've had a big day. Let's get you upstairs and into bed."

"But I'm not… sleepy…" Cloud protested, his protest being quickly discredited by the huge yawn that forced itself into his sentence.

"Sure you aren't," she answered with a grin and picked the blond up. "Come on."

Putting his cup down, Cloud allowed himself to be picked up and carted upstairs to Yuffie's doll house. They found Yuffie sitting down at her laptop, downloading some pictures that she quickly closed when she heard them.

"Bedtime already?" she asked with a grin as she took in the sleepy look on the blond fighters face.

"Yes, it is," Aerith murmured as she placed Cloud in the bedroom. "Goodnight Cloud. See you in the morning."

"Night Aerith," Cloud murmured as he rolled into the bed and pulled the covers over his shoulders. Within seconds he was dead to the world.

**_You would not believe how dirty Cloud's outfit managed to get today. I'd post a pic but it's seriously disgusting. It's gone from blue to grey. I'm not entirely sure how… I thought dust was brown… _**

**_Well, either way, here is mini Cloud in a maid's outfit. He owes me! So tomorrows will be somewhat fun. _****_J Talk to you all tomorrow!_**

**_Greatestninjaever~!_**

* * *

I'm so sorry this took me so long to update! I've been really busy lately and all sorts of things have happened that shouldn't have happened. I apologise in full, and will work diligently to get the next chapter written and posted within a week, I hope. If i don't manage it I apologise and will post another one-shot fic i've been working on recently, once I get it written up of course. . *sighs*

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed it, and I sincerely hope you're all having a better week than I am. It's been shite so far. :(

Until next time...

Vex


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